Made these quesadillas last night from a recipe on health.com to help eat up the zucchini from my sis in laws garden and daddy wasn’t home so we didn’t have to worry about making a dish with meat in it 😉 They were better than I expected and both boys gobbled them down!
1/2 c canned black beans, rinsed and drained
2 tbs salsa
1/2 c finely chopped zucchini
4 (6-inch) corn tortillas
4 tablespoons shredded Cheddar cheese
*For my gluten and nightshade allergy adjustments, I ommited the salsa and used onion and cilantro with lime juice and salt instead. I also used teff wraps instead of regular tortillas.
Preparation
1. Combine beans and salsa in a small bowl; mash with a fork. Stir in zucchini. 2. Layer 1 tortilla with half the bean mixture, sprinkle with 2 tbs cheese, and top with another tortilla. Repeat with remaining tortillas, bean mixture, and cheese. 3. In broiler or toaster oven, cook quesadillas 1 minute on each side until cheese is melted and bubbly.
Being on the path we’ve found ourselves on this year, traveling and even the Colorado shootings yesterday I’ve been reminded over and over the past few months, this is not our home…
We are on a journey, we are foreigners. Sometimes the road seems long, exhausting, even scary. We experience wonderful and exhilarating mountain points along the way but those days can also be met with equally dark valleys.
Our Father reminds us…Dont get too comfortable here. I have something better for you ahead. You are not home yet.
Why do you insist on dragging that suitcase full of regret, fear, resentment around? My child, I told you, I’ve got this. Its too much for you to carry. Leave it there. I have everything you need for this journey. Come to Me when you are weary and I will give you rest. I will turn your days of tears into days of joy and laughter… and when this journey is over, I will carry you safely home.
Happy First Birthday to our little wildfire! You’ve brought so much surprise and joy to our life. You are definitely your own unique little person with lots of love to give. We pray Gods protection and direction on your precious little life.
Since coming back from our trip I seem to have been hit with a case of the blues. Maybe the heat and drought are getting to me or maybe the uncertainty of irregular paychecks, not to mention coming off of the high of vacation; enjoying nature and taking a break from everyday life.
I got several things accomplished over the weekend but was feeling exhausted and unmotivated by Monday. I wanted to just lay around in bed, maybe even mope but I still have two littles to attend to. Ok so I did mope a little.
We have now been in the rental for four months, longer than I expected or planned to be. I look around at the still unpacked boxes stacked in the kitchen, on the porch and a couple in various rooms waiting for the day we can pick up and go wherever it was we are supposed to be going. Not anymore. They have now found residence in the basement, cabinets or trash can. I’m this close to hanging some decor while I’m at it.
When we sold our house back in March after calling it home for 6 1/2 years we had done a pretty good amount of fixing it up and decorating it to our liking. I had painted and decorated most of the rooms and my husband had installed a gorgeous master bath and completely landscaped the yard (surprise surprise 😉 and we had a wonderful deck and garden and enough room for friends and family to come visit. It was our first and only house and where we lived when our babies were born.
I’ll be honest, it’s hard to get motivated about being in the rental. Not because we’re not thankful for a house to live in for a decent price but we’re limited on what we can change or do. Plus who wants to spend much money on something they don’t own especially when the plan isn’t or wasn’t to stay here long anyway.
This is the hand we’ve been dealt right now and while in reality its not bad it’s not what we envisioned either. I think I’m starting to find my groove and accept the fact that it is what is and make the best of it. I know my job is still to do what’s best with what I have no matter how big or small and maybe someday we’ll feel “home” again.
P.S. Did I mention it has also been extremely hot and dry this summer. It was 110 degrees the day I took this pic and my son was upset because I told him it was time to come in and cool off…..
Heading from Estes Park back to Kansas City today. Not looking forward to being cooped up in the van for that long but hey, theres always books, movies and interenet ha! 🙂 At this point we have traveled approx 3,800 miles, stayed at 6 campsites, visited 3 national parks and been gone 14 days.
We’ve made some wonderful memories and crazy ones too… now we have to get back and get some work, ebay and car repair stuff taken care of and sell the pop-up and maybe the van before the end of summer.
I could use a little refreshing myself and then I’ll be ready to hit the road again!
Enjoyed our last day in Rocky Mountain National Park. Hiked around Bear Lake and down to a waterfall. Fell asleep to the rain and thunder. Trying to take the last bit in. I can’t believe how two weeks have flown by.
I’m excited… slightly hesitant, but mostly excitedly anticipating the upcoming weeks. We have decided to do some much needed traveling, exploring and hopefully squeeze in a little R&R. The R&R, with our version of adventure and throwing a 10 month and almost 3 year old into the mix remains to be seen but ultimately we are looking to have some wonderful family bonding and memory making times with each other and the littles. We have become the, possibly temporary, proud owners of a Coleman popup camper and Chevy conversion van. Ok, so I’m the proud owner of the popup. I was more than a little concerned about the complications of driving and camping all over timbucktu with my two little wild men and highly suggested we try it with a camper first. My husband on the other hand the proud owner of the conversion van. Why the van? Not because he loves vans mind you. Only, and I quote, because he “refused to be whipped by driving a soccer mom van”. Apparently my slight embarrassment about the ginormous van and the fact that I laughingly emphasized that I plan to ONLY drive the beast for unavoidable work related tasks, somehow made him feel he had stayed a little higher on the manliness charters. I must say, I have unexpectedly begun to fall in love with “the beast”. Compared to driving in the Jetta it feels like a bus as far as room goes, of course it probably guzzles gas like a bus too, but I’m able to help the boys without feeling I have to do yoga poses to get into the back and the seats are super comfy.
I hope to keep up the blog and post about our travels on the road. If anyone has any tips on best camping spots, Yellowstone, Tetons, Glacier National Park or camping with small children in general we’d love to hear them!
Wow, where do I begin!? On one hand, sharing Lil Bub’s birth story feels intimate, sacred..like something I want to keep all to myself.. but on the other hand like an experience of a lifetime I want to tell everyone about. It was wonderful, intense..and honestly I’ve had a hard time knowing how to fully express what this experience was like for us in words but I’ll try my best.
I guess the best place to start would be the very beginning. I had been interested in a natural birth when I was pregnant with our first baby but because of being a first pregnancy and not knowing what to expect and a lack of confidence instilled by my doctor I chose to have him at the hospital. Now don’t get me wrong, maybe that’s where I was supposed to be and I know not all can or want to have a natural birth or birth at home but I hope more and more women who are interested in that option will not be afraid to learn about and trust their bodies and the natural process of birth.
Having a midwife with appointments at the birth center and our house was the first clue this birth experience would be very different this time. Discussions we had of the pregnancy and birth not only made sure I knew what was going on with my body and the baby and what options I had but also supported the natural ability of my body to give birth instead of interfering with the process. The environment was much more relaxing, warm and friendly and so easy to have Boo (our 1st son) with me. We didnt have to wait in a cold, boring doctors office… in fact we never had to wait at all. We were greeted right away, Boo was able to play and was as happy and comfortable being there as I was, which made the appointments even more relaxing and stress free for me 🙂
As the weeks went on I became more excited about welcoming our new son into our home. In the few months leading up to Lil Bub’s due date several of our friends had added to their families including three home births! July brought some extreme heat and that with the final weeks and days upon us I found the anticipation almost unbearable. I was sure he would come early.
Lil Bub was due July 20th, 2011 but as the morning and early afternoon of the 19th ticked by I felt I could possibly be pregnant forever! Around 3 or 4 that afternoon, as I headed to my moms to pick up Boo, I noticed my “practice contractions” seemed to have a little more oomph behind them. I got back home, made dinner and decided to spend some time out with him in his pool as I had done several times in the weeks earlier. During this time I continued to have a few strong contractions which I mentioned in passing. By the time we decided to come back inside it was almost 8:00pm. I headed to the shower while my husband bathed Boo and tucked him in bed. As I got out of the shower I announced “So maybe we better time the contractions because I just had three more in the shower!” For the next couple of hours the contractions would go from being 4 min apart to 10 min depending on whether I was up and about or sitting down. About 10:00 I decided to text my midwife and photographer to give them a heads up on what was happening. I thought I’d go to bed and try to get some rest since I figured it’d be a long night and my contractions had been slowing down while resting but I soon realized this was no longer going to be the case. After a few more contractions I heard a pop and felt a trickle of water. Since it wasn’t gushing, I wasnt sure if my water had broken or what had happened. A couple of weeks earlier our midwife had brought over the birth pool and a box of supplies which I remembered had some strips in it that would turn a certain color if you were leaking amniotic fluid. Sure enough my water had broken and it proceeded to gush out with each contraction. By this time I decided to call my midwife to let her know what was going on and since I was still laboring fine on my own told her I’d call when things got more intense.
DH had started getting the pool and room prepared and I got out the TENS unit and had him stick it to my back. I had already dimmed the lights and been rocking back and forth with my birth ball on my hands and knees and as the contractions quickly picked up I used the TENS unit to distract from the pain. At this point things had gotten intense pretty quickly so I called my midwife and photographer back about 11:15 and told them they should probably come right away. My midwife (Suzanne), doula (Nadah) and photographer (Anna) all showed up within a 1/2hr or so. By this time I was sure I had to be getting pretty far along. I was guessing I was at 7 or 8 cm but because doing a cervical check can tend to slow you down and not be necessary I didn’t have our midwife check me. Since I was still talking and comfortable between contractions Suzanne said she thought I would still be laboring for quite awhile and busied herself with preparations in the next room. Nadah, who had also been our doula with our first, arrived within the next few minutes and after chatting for a bit and another contraction I told her I felt I was pretty well dilated and she seemed to think so too with the intensity of my contractions at that point. Nadah began applying some counter pressure for the pain and she and my husband made sure I had water, food or anything else I needed. After only a few more contractions, one almost after the other, she asked me if I was feeling ready to push which I realized at the exact same time. Everything had been moving pretty quickly already but at this point it became a blur of activity, emotion and energy! Suzanne came back in our room and had me go to the bathroom and then hop in the tub. I felt a strong urge to push come on just as I was coming out of the bathroom so I quickly knelt in the tub and began pushing right away. I worked to focus my energy to push my baby out and catch my breath between pushes. I started getting pretty vocal and even a little teary at this point and hoped I wouldn’t wake up Boo who was still sound asleep in the next room. I could feel the baby making progress down the birth canal with each push but it felt like he was still a ways up there. My birth team assured me he wasn’t that far and with the next push or two I could start to feel his head crowning. All the while I had been holding tightly to DH and the birth tub as my midwife and doula applied counter pressure to my back with each push. Before I knew it Lil Bub’s head was out and I rested for just a few seconds before pushing one last time as daddy caught him and lifted him up to me.
At last he was here! It was 12:45 on his due date, not a day early or late 🙂 I was able to rest in the pool for a bit as he adjusted to life outside of the cozy place he had grown and been carried inside me the past 9 months. As we waited for the cord to quit pulsing before clamping it I delivered the placenta within a few minutes. In all this activity I had only had to push about 6 times which only lasted around 15 minutes.
After cuddling Lil Bub for awhile I handed him off to his daddy and was helped to the shower to clean up and then was able to climb in my own bed with my baby as our team cleaned and packed things back up. DH and I spent the next hour all to ourselves holding and checking him over and replaying the amazing blur that had been the last few hours.
During this time I realized Anna had done a wonderful job of blending in to the surroundings and for lack of a better phrase literally had become a fly on the wall of our room. I still don’t know how she took so many pictures but we are so glad she was able to be our photographer for Lil Bub’s birth day. At this point, I think it was about 2am, we decided to wake our other son up so he could meet his baby brother and we could get some pictures of our new family of four. After some time together we tucked him back in bed and Suzanne came back in to weigh, measure and make sure Lil Bub and I were still doing well and give us some last minute instructions and by 3:00 everyone had packed up and gone home.
Having Lil Bub at home was more wonderful than even we had expected. Everyone we knew who had home births had told us they could never imagine wanting to go back to having a hospital birth and now it totally makes sense. We are so thankful that we were able to have an experience like this, for our incredible birth team and for Gods perfect plan and protection throughout my pregnancy and birth in adding this new precious little one to our family. We couldn’t have planned it any better ourselves!
Birth experience comparisons
First birth/hospital:
Nauseous between 6-8 weeks
Craved Blueberry pancakes & doritos
Gained 35lbs
1st son Boo arrived between my LMP date and the ultrasound date.
I can’t remember where I saw this but love how it was stated.
“Do I think having a homebirth compromised the safety of my child? Absolutely not. Was there a possibility something could have gone wrong? Sure. (as it can no matter where you choose to deliver) But I trusted my midwife. She’s attended hundreds of births, dealt with emergencies and transfers, is incredibly knowledgeable, and came prepared with a kit of equipment, including oxygen, pitocin, and antibiotics — everything needed to stabilize me and my baby if something went wrong. Home birth isn’t for everyone. Many women feel safer in a hospital and more secure with that experience. But I’m not ashamed to say that a hospital experience wasn’t for me. I wanted my privacy and the comfort of my home. I wanted my family there and for the only hands to touch my baby to be hands of people who loved him. I wanted the birth of my child to be the sacred rite of passage it is”
Well we are back from our last minute trip out of town and what a new adventure to say the least. I have to admit “vacation” with a six month old takes on a whole new meaning. Things actually went a whole lot smoother than I thought though with the only rough day being the flight back because Boo couldn’t fall asleep and proceeded to scream and cry for everyone for quite awhile. We also arrived at the parking lot to find the car battery dead. Other than that though it was a pretty enjoyable trip of sunshine and warmer weather. We flew into Orlando Tuesday and drove down through Miami, all the way out to Key West and back up the gulf side through Ft Myersand Sanibel Island, stopping for the night at different points along the way. I got to try dolphin tacos and curry shrimp during the time we were there. We walked by alligators in the everglades that were only a couple of feet away from us, stuck our toes in the sand at Key West and took a very interesting glass bottom boat ride which I’ll let my husbands review on tripadvisor explain to you. (www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g34344-d102401-r55913603-John_Pennekamp_Coral_Reef_State_Park-Key_Largo_Florida_Keys_Florida.html) All in all it was fun and memorable to say the least!
I found out in December of 2008 that I was pregnant after taking two pregnancy tests, mainly because I didn’t believe the first one. When I went to the Dr’s office to confirm the pregnancy they were concerned because I was having a stabbing pain in my left side. When they did a sonogram they didn’t seen anything growing in the uterus so they were concerned it was an etopic pregnancy but nothing showed up in the tubes at that time either. A few weeks and a couple of sonograms later we finally were able to hear the heartbeat on New Years Eve. Other than being a little nauseous and very exhausted in the 2nd month the rest of the 1st and 2nd trimester couldn’t have been more perfect. I loved watching my growing stomach and feeling my active baby boy inside of me.
I had always been interested in having a natural birth and liked the positive things I had heard about midwives, doulas and homebirths but after touring several hospitals and a birth center, reading as much as we could about the subject and talking it over I decided to switch doctors around 18 weeks and have our baby at a different hospital. In the 3rd trimester things got a little more complicated. I had a very high sugar reading during my glucose test at 28 weeks and refused to take the second test which meant I had to have twice a week non stress tests and check my blood sugar four times a day. After this diagnosis I was afraid I was not going to be able to have as natural a birth as I wanted. As time got closer to the due date even though I had been controlling my blood sugar on my own with diet and exercise the doctor begin telling me that having gestational diabetes tended to make the baby too big and he had a higher chance of being stillborn. She said she would probably have to induce me because of it. I was afraid my desire to have a natural birth was not going to be an option.
I had given up the idea of having a doula and figured I would just have to be induced anyways so I might as well get an epidural. At around 35 weeks I decided to use the free massage coupon I had won at a materni-tea event. The massage was great and was given to me by Nadah who had many years of experience as a doula and who eased my doubts of not being able to have a natural birth. She also had some suggestions to help start labor instead of being induced and gave me some tea to help regulate my blood sugar and prepare my body for labor. I went home and talked to my husband about all we had discussed and decided we wanted to ask Nadah to attend our birth.
As we got into the last few weeks my doctor wanted to set up an induction a week before my due date. Things were going smoothly with the diabetes so we decided to ask for more time for my body to go into labor on its own. She agreed to let me go until my due date but said she was not going to let me go any longer than that under her care.
On Mon Aug 3rd, we had an appointment with Nadah to help us with some natural ways to encourage labor. When I went to see my OB that Wed my cervix was dilated 1-2 cm, I was 90% effaced & little dude was at a 1 station. My doctor said she had the feeling she would be seeing me that weekend.
Friday evening my husband and I stopped by Cabelas on the way to dinner with our family. That was the first time I had a contraction that felt much stronger than the “practice contractions” I had been having on and off. After a delicious dinner of spicy mexican food I had another strong contraction in the car. Since they were so spaced out I didn’t really think much of it at the time but through the night I would awaken to a contraction every couple of hours and by morning the were coming a little closer together. I had an NST(non-stress test) scheduled to go to at 11:00 Saturday morning and on the drive there I realized the contractions had picked up to coming about every ten minutes. Sitting in the car through them made my eyes water. I had been having light contractions during my tests in the previous weeks but the nurse that morning didn’t think I was dilated more than 2 cm so they released me. I was so relieved because I was afraid I would be stuck at the hospital for hours instead of being able to go through early labor in the comfort of my own home. I called my doula to let her know what was going on and she offered to come whenever I was ready for her but I was doing ok on my own so she promised to keep in touch throughout the day.
When I got back home my husband helped me time my contractions as I worked on relaxing and rocking my hips during the contractions. By this time it was about 3:00 in the afternoon. I couldn’t lay down or sit during a contraction so I would lay on a cushion he brought downstairs for me to try to get whatever rest I could. The contractions had picked up to being every 3-5min apart & 45-60 sec long. They were intense but not unbearable. I thought “this isn’t as bad as I thought it would be” I think you get so nervous about it because of what everyone tells you. That evening I started bleeding so after talking to our doctor and doula we decided it would be a good time to head to the hospital to get settled in before I was in transition.
Once we were at the hospital they checked my progression and announced I was already at 6cm! I was so happy I said “yay, I’m almost there!” At this point I was still laughing and talking. The nurse seemed amazed that I felt so good. Nadah made sure I stayed well hydrated and in as comfortable a position as possible to help ease the labor pains. My husband was there supporting me and making sure I was being given the best care. I was progressing very well and so at about 1:00am when I was at 8 cm the nurse said she thought I only had a couple more hours to go. We hadn’t called our families yet so DH called to let them know we were at the hospital and that we didn’t think it would be too much longer. If only we had known!
After spending some time in the Jacuzzi I got out so the nurse could check me. I seemed to have gotten stuck at 8 cm so we decided to have the doctor break my water to see if it would help things pick up again. By this time I was all things serious and finally began feeling the urge to push at about 5:00am. I was almost fully dilated except for one area of the cervix. The urge to push began to get so strong and I was so exhausted by this point that I allowed it to take over even though the nurse was working to try to get the rest of the cervix back over the baby’s head before she encouraged me to push. After doing this for an hour or so the doctor came in to check me. That’s when she realized that the baby was sunny side up which meant his head was not hitting the cervix in the right spot to help it come down as easily. This was a surprise because I had had absolutely no back labor which is common in most babies facing this way. Time had been passing in a blur at this point but somehow in all the commotion and exhaustion I noticed the sun coming in through the windows. At this point I realized that I had been doing this for quite a long time and didn’t seem to be making any progress. Later DH told me he had tried to get the blinds closed because he knew if I realized how long I’d been pushing I would get discouraged but he only got one window closed before he was needed again. I had begun feeling almost in and out of consciousness because when I would lay back between pushes I was so exhausted I would doze off. I didn’t seem to be making any progress and it had been about 2 1/2 hours of pushing by this point. I felt I just couldn’t do it anymore so I told the doctor in a desperate, teary voice “I need help” The doctor knew my hopes of having a natural birth but also knew I was about at my limit. She said she could try the vacuum but thought because of his position it probably wouldn’t work and if she tried twice with no luck she would have to take me for a c-section. That was the last thing I wanted so she suggested bringing in a doctor who was very good with forceps but that I would need to have a quick epidural/spinal block. I said “ok, I’m done”
While waiting for the other OB and the anesthesiologist they started me on oxygen because my breathing was becoming shallow and the baby’s heart rate was dropping. It felt so good to have pure oxygen filling my lungs. The epidural took almost immediately. I found it humorous that they said I would feel a little pressure because I felt a huge sense of relief at that point and even chuckled about it. The doctor placed the forceps to wait for the next contraction to turn and pull him out but as his heart rate dropped again she said never mind and tugged with all her body weight. Out came the most beautiful baby boy I had ever seen in my life! He was perfect 🙂 I was a disappointed that I couldn’t nurse him right away as I had hoped but was glad that he was finally here and doing ok.
Our firstborn was born 8/9/09 at 7:40am, 7lbs 8.4 oz, 19 3/4in long after 20+ hours of active labor. I thank God everyday for the ultimate expression of our love He’s given us! It may have not turned out exactly as I had planned but I’m glad I was able to experience natural labor. My husband was a wonderful support and encouragement throughout the whole process and I’m glad we were able to experience such a life changing event together that we will never forget!
