THERE WE GROW

Wow, where do I begin!? On one hand, sharing Lil Bub’s birth story feels intimate, sacred..like something I want to keep all to myself.. but on the other hand like an experience of a lifetime I want to tell everyone about. It was wonderful, intense..and honestly I’ve had a hard time knowing how to fully express what this experience was like for us in words but I’ll try my best.

I guess the best place to start would be the very beginning. I had been interested in a natural birth when I was pregnant with our first baby but because of being a first pregnancy and not knowing what to expect and a lack of confidence instilled by my doctor I chose to have him at the hospital. Now don’t get me wrong, maybe that’s where I was supposed to be and I know not all can or want to have a natural birth or birth at home but I hope more and more women who are interested in that option will not be afraid to learn about and trust their bodies and the natural process of birth.

Having a midwife with appointments at the birth center and our house was the first clue this birth experience would be very different this time. Discussions we had of the pregnancy and birth not only made sure I knew what was going on with my body and the baby and what options I had but also supported the natural ability of my body to give birth instead of interfering with the process. The environment was much more relaxing, warm and friendly and so easy to have Boo (our 1st son) with me. We didnt have to wait in a cold, boring doctors office… in fact we never had to wait at all. We were greeted right away, Boo was able to play and was as happy and comfortable being there as I was, which made the appointments even more relaxing and stress free for me 🙂

As the weeks went on I became more excited about welcoming our new son into our home. In the few months leading up to Lil Bub’s due date several of our friends had added to their families including three home births! July brought some extreme heat and that with the final weeks and days upon us I found the anticipation almost unbearable. I was sure he would come early.

Lil Bub was due July 20th, 2011 but as the morning and early afternoon of the 19th ticked by I felt I could possibly be pregnant forever! Around 3 or 4 that afternoon, as I headed to my moms to pick up Boo, I noticed my “practice contractions” seemed to have a little more oomph behind them. I got back home, made dinner and decided to spend some time out with him in his pool as I had done several times in the weeks earlier. During this time I continued to have a few strong contractions which I mentioned in passing. By the time we decided to come back inside it was almost 8:00pm. I headed to the shower while my husband bathed Boo and tucked him in bed. As I got out of the shower I announced “So maybe we better time the contractions because I just had three more in the shower!” For the next couple of hours the contractions would go from being 4 min apart to 10 min depending on whether I was up and about or sitting down. About 10:00 I decided to text my midwife and photographer to give them a heads up on what was happening. I thought I’d go to bed and try to get some rest since I figured it’d be a long night and my contractions had been slowing down while resting but I soon realized this was no longer going to be the case. After a few more contractions I heard a pop and felt a trickle of water. Since it wasn’t gushing, I wasnt sure if my water had broken or what had happened. A couple of weeks earlier our midwife had brought over the birth pool and a box of supplies which I remembered had some strips in it that would turn a certain color if you were leaking amniotic fluid. Sure enough my water had broken and it proceeded to gush out with each contraction. By this time I decided to call my midwife to let her know what was going on and since I was still laboring fine on my own told her I’d call when things got more intense.

DH had started getting the pool and room prepared and I got out the TENS unit and had him stick it to my back. I had already dimmed the lights and been rocking back and forth with my birth ball on my hands and knees and as the contractions quickly picked up I used the TENS unit to distract from the pain. At this point things had gotten intense pretty quickly so I called my midwife and photographer back about 11:15 and told them they should probably come right away. My midwife (Suzanne), doula (Nadah) and photographer (Anna) all showed up within a 1/2hr or so. By this time I was sure I had to be getting pretty far along. I was guessing I was at 7 or 8 cm but because doing a cervical check can tend to slow you down and not be necessary I didn’t have our midwife check me. Since I was still talking and comfortable between contractions Suzanne said she thought I would still be laboring for quite awhile and busied herself with preparations in the next room. Nadah, who had also been our doula with our first, arrived within the next few minutes and after chatting for a bit and another contraction I told her I felt I was pretty well dilated and she seemed to think so too with the intensity of my contractions at that point. Nadah began applying some counter pressure for the pain and she and my husband made sure I had water, food or anything else I needed. After only a few more contractions, one almost after the other, she asked me if I was feeling ready to push which I realized at the exact same time. Everything had been moving pretty quickly already but at this point it became a blur of activity, emotion and energy! Suzanne came back in our room and had me go to the bathroom and then hop in the tub. I felt a strong urge to push come on just as I was coming out of the bathroom so I quickly knelt in the tub and began pushing right away. I worked to focus my energy to push my baby out and catch my breath between pushes. I started getting pretty vocal and even a little teary at this point and hoped I wouldn’t wake up Boo who was still sound asleep in the next room. I could feel the baby making progress down the birth canal with each push but it felt like he was still a ways up there. My birth team assured me he wasn’t that far and with the next push or two I could start to feel his head crowning. All the while I had been holding tightly to DH and the birth tub as my midwife and doula applied counter pressure to my back with each push. Before I knew it Lil Bub’s head was out and I rested for just a few seconds before pushing one last time as daddy caught him and lifted him up to me.

At last he was here! It was 12:45 on his due date, not a day early or late 🙂 I was able to rest in the pool for a bit as he adjusted to life outside of the cozy place he had grown and been carried inside me the past 9 months. As we waited for the cord to quit pulsing before clamping it I delivered the placenta within a few minutes. In all this activity I had only had to push about 6 times which only lasted around 15 minutes.

After cuddling Lil Bub for awhile I handed him off to his daddy and was helped to the shower to clean up and then was able to climb in my own bed with my baby as our team cleaned and packed things back up. DH and I spent the next hour all to ourselves holding and checking him over and replaying the amazing blur that had been the last few hours.

During this time I realized Anna had done a wonderful job of blending in to the surroundings and for lack of a better phrase literally had become a fly on the wall of our room. I still don’t know how she took so many pictures but we are so glad she was able to be our photographer for Lil Bub’s birth day. At this point, I think it was about 2am, we decided to wake our other son up so he could meet his baby brother and we could get some pictures of our new family of four. After some time together we tucked him back in bed and Suzanne came back in to weigh, measure and make sure Lil Bub and I were still doing well and give us some last minute instructions and by 3:00 everyone had packed up and gone home.

Having Lil Bub at home was more wonderful than even we had expected. Everyone we knew who had home births had told us they could never imagine wanting to go back to having a hospital birth and now it totally makes sense. We are so thankful that we were able to have an experience like this, for our incredible birth team and for Gods perfect plan and protection throughout my pregnancy and birth in adding this new precious little one to our family. We couldn’t have planned it any better ourselves!

Birth experience comparisons

First birth/hospital:

Nauseous between 6-8 weeks

Craved Blueberry pancakes & doritos

Gained 35lbs

1st son Boo arrived between my LMP date and the ultrasound date.

22+ hrs of labor, 2 1/2hrs pushing, forcep delivery, 3-4th degree tear/multiple stitches

7lbs 8oz, 19 3/4in

Second birth/home:

Nauseous between 6-8 weeks

Craved pizza and chocolate pudding

Gained 25lbs

Lil Bub arrived on due date

4hr labor, 15min pushing, waterbirth delivery, 1st degree tear/no stitches

7lbs 7oz, 20 1/4in long

Here’s the blog post from our birth photographer at Third Avenue Photography.

I can’t remember where I saw this but love how it was stated.

“Do I think having a homebirth compromised the safety of my child? Absolutely not. Was there a possibility something could have gone wrong? Sure. (as it can no matter where you choose to deliver) But I trusted my midwife. She’s attended hundreds of births, dealt with emergencies and transfers, is incredibly knowledgeable, and came prepared with a kit of equipment, including oxygen, pitocin, and antibiotics — everything needed to stabilize me and my baby if something went wrong. Home birth isn’t for everyone. Many women feel safer in a hospital and more secure with that experience. But I’m not ashamed to say that a hospital experience wasn’t for me. I wanted my privacy and the comfort of my home. I wanted my family there and for the only hands to touch my baby to be hands of people who loved him. I wanted the birth of my child to be the sacred rite of passage it is”