For those of you who don’t know, my husband and I, by the grace of God, live debt free. It’s not always easy and this year has definetly thrown some challenges our way but I wouldn’t have it any other way. We started our debt free journey several years ago and have never regretted it. We now facilitate financial classes occasionally and LOVE being able to encourge others in the journey by “throwing out a rope” so to speak.
Now I know not everyone wants this or feels its what their family should do and some have decided to stop it temporarily for other things they need to take care of but for those working towards this goal the sacrifices you are making now will have a huge impact later. Success very rarely happens overnight. It’s making right or wrong decisions on a daily basis. Making bad choices over and over will cause death by 1000 cuts. Now I didn’t say it would necessarily be easy but things that are worth it usually arent. Set goals and allow yourself small rewards to help keep your momentum going. Push, push, push, be intentional and very soon, little by little you will be seeing the rewards and results of all your hard work. I know you can do it!!
Made these quesadillas last night from a recipe on health.com to help eat up the zucchini from my sis in laws garden and daddy wasn’t home so we didn’t have to worry about making a dish with meat in it 😉 They were better than I expected and both boys gobbled them down!
1/2 c canned black beans, rinsed and drained
2 tbs salsa
1/2 c finely chopped zucchini
4 (6-inch) corn tortillas
4 tablespoons shredded Cheddar cheese
*For my gluten and nightshade allergy adjustments, I ommited the salsa and used onion and cilantro with lime juice and salt instead.
Preparation
1. Combine beans and salsa in a small bowl; mash with a fork. Stir in zucchini. 2. Layer 1 tortilla with half the bean mixture, sprinkle with 2 tbs cheese, and top with another tortilla. Repeat with remaining tortillas, bean mixture, and cheese. 3. In broiler or toaster oven, cook quesadillas 1 minute on each side until cheese is melted and bubbly.
Being on the path we’ve found ourselves on this year, traveling and even the Colorado shootings yesterday I’ve been reminded over and over the past few months, this is not our home…
We are on a journey, we are foreigners. Sometimes the road seems long, exhausting, even scary. We experience wonderful and exhilarating mountain points along the way but those days can also be met with equally dark valleys.
Our Father reminds us…Dont get too comfortable here. I have something better for you ahead. You are not home yet.
Why do you insist on dragging that suitcase full of regret, fear, resentment around? My child, I told you, I’ve got this. Its too much for you to carry. Leave it there. I have everything you need for this journey. Come to Me when you are weary and I will give you rest. I will turn your days of tears into days of joy and laughter… and when this journey is over, I will carry you safely home.
Happy First Birthday to our little wildfire! You’ve brought so much surprise and joy to our life. You are definitely your own unique little person with lots of love to give. We pray Gods protection and direction on your precious little life.
Since coming back from our trip I seem to have been hit with a case of the blues. Maybe the heat and drought are getting to me or maybe the uncertainty of irregular paychecks, not to mention coming off of the high of vacation; enjoying nature and taking a break from everyday life.
I got several things accomplished over the weekend but was feeling exhausted and unmotivated by Monday. I wanted to just lay around in bed, maybe even mope but I still have two littles to attend to. Ok so I did mope a little.
We have now been in the rental for four months, longer than I expected or planned to be. I look around at the still unpacked boxes stacked in the kitchen, on the porch and a couple in various rooms waiting for the day we can pick up and go wherever it was we are supposed to be going. Not anymore. They have now found residence in the basement, cabinets or trash can. I’m this close to hanging some decor while I’m at it.
When we sold our house back in March after calling it home for 6 1/2 years we had done a pretty good amount of fixing it up and decorating it to our liking. I had painted and decorated most of the rooms and my husband had installed a gorgeous master bath and completely landscaped the yard (surprise surprise 😉 and we had a wonderful deck and garden and enough room for friends and family to come visit. It was our first and only house and where we lived when our babies were born.
I’ll be honest, it’s hard to get motivated about being in the rental. Not because we’re not thankful for a house to live in for a decent price but we’re limited on what we can change or do. Plus who wants to spend much money on something they don’t own especially when the plan isn’t or wasn’t to stay here long anyway.
This is the hand we’ve been dealt right now and while in reality its not bad it’s not what we envisioned either. I think I’m starting to find my groove and accept the fact that it is what is and make the best of it. I know my job is still to do what’s best with what I have no matter how big or small and maybe someday we’ll feel “home” again.
P.S. Did I mention it has also been extremely hot and dry this summer. It was 110 degrees the day I took this pic and my son was upset because I told him it was time to come in and cool off…..
Heading from Estes Park back to Kansas City today. Not looking forward to being cooped up in the van for that long but hey, theres always books, movies and interenet ha! 🙂 At this point we have traveled approx 3,800 miles, stayed at 6 campsites, visited 3 national parks and been gone 14 days.
We’ve made some wonderful memories and crazy ones too… now we have to get back and get some work, ebay and car repair stuff taken care of and sell the pop-up and maybe the van before the end of summer.
I could use a little refreshing myself and then I’ll be ready to hit the road again!
Enjoyed our time in Yellowstone and Rocky Mountain National Park. So much to see and do plus not good signal everywhere I obviously didn’t keep up on the blog posts.
Today we hiked around Bear Lake and down to a waterfall. Fell asleep to the rain and thunder. Trying to take the last bit in. I can’t believe how two weeks have flown by.
I’m excited… slightly hesitant, but mostly excitedly anticipating the upcoming weeks. We have decided to do some much needed traveling, exploring and hopefully squeeze in a little R&R. The R&R, with our version of adventure and throwing a 10 month and almost 3 year old into the mix remains to be seen but ultimately we are looking to have some wonderful family bonding and memory making times with each other and the littles. We have become the, possibly temporary, proud owners of a Coleman popup camper and Chevy conversion van. Ok, so I’m the proud owner of the popup. I was more than a little concerned about the complications of driving and camping all over timbucktu with my two little wild men and highly suggested we try it with a camper first. My husband on the other hand the proud owner of the conversion van. Why the van? Not because he loves vans mind you. Only, and I quote, because he “refused to be whipped by driving a soccer mom van”. Apparently my slight embarrassment about the ginormous van and the fact that I laughingly emphasized that I plan to ONLY drive the beast for unavoidable work related tasks, somehow made him feel he had stayed a little higher on the manliness charters. I must say, I have unexpectedly begun to fall in love with “the beast”. Compared to driving in the Jetta it feels like a bus as far as room goes, of course it probably guzzles gas like a bus too, but I’m able to help the boys without feeling I have to do yoga poses to get into the back and the seats are super comfy.
I hope to keep up the blog and post about our travels on the road. If anyone has any tips on best camping spots, Yellowstone, Tetons, Glacier National Park or camping with small children in general we’d love to hear them!
Wow, what a year it’s been… and we’re not even halfway there yet! This learning and growing and training thing is hard. Just when you think you’re getting the hang of it, the bike pedal whirring around so fast your feet can’t keep up, you are suddenly jerked out of your day dream. Like someone jabbing a stick in the spokes of your bicycle wheel and you’ve been hurled over the top of it and end up in a crumpled heap on the pavement. For a moment you’re silent as you try to catch your breath. Once the initial shock is over however you’re not sure if you should scream, beat someone up or run home crying to mama… or all of the above. Atleast in my meager, insecure human brain it feels that way. Then I stop and ponder, and wonder, what was all this for? Am I supposed to be learning something from this? Would God be able to use pain like this to grow something beautiful? Maybe I was riding too fast or getting ready to cross in front of something dangerous or maybe just maybe I had somehow ended up on the wrong trail altogether. I certainly wish I knew the answer but I don’t. Maybe I will know when I’m further down the road or maybe I will never know in this life, but I do know one thing. I’m reminded not to be too sure of what I may encounter ahead. To listen only to the voice of my Father. To appreciate and seize the journey and opportunities He’s given me now instead of putting it off for “some day” To listen, to soften, to endure, to …forgive… yes that may be the hardest…. and yet I’ve been forgiven for my own failures many times over. It’s a process. It takes resting & recooping … it’s seeking shelter in my Fathers arms, and listening for His gentle guiding and before long, I’m pedaling again!
Wow, where do I begin!? On one hand, sharing Lil Bub’s birth story feels intimate, sacred..like something I want to keep all to myself.. but on the other hand like an experience of a lifetime I want to tell everyone about. It was wonderful, intense..and honestly I’ve had a hard time knowing how to fully express what this experience was like for us in words but I’ll try my best.
I guess the best place to start would be the very beginning. I had been interested in a natural birth when I was pregnant with our first baby but because of being a first pregnancy and not knowing what to expect, I chose to have him at the hospital. Now don’t get me wrong, maybe that’s where I was supposed to be and I know not all can or want to have a natural birth or birth at home but I hope more and more women who are interested in that option will not be afraid to learn about and trust their bodies and the natural process of birth.
Having a midwife with appointments at the birth center and our house was the first clue this birth experience would be very different this time. Discussions we had of the pregnancy and birth not only made sure I knew what was going on with my body and the baby and what options I had but also supported the natural ability of my body to give birth. The environment was much more relaxing, warm and friendly and so easy to have Boo (our 1st son) with me. We didnt have to wait in a doctors office… in fact we never had to wait at all. We were greeted right away, Boo was able to play and was as happy and comfortable being there as I was, which made the appointments even more relaxing and stress free for me 🙂
As the weeks went on I became more excited about welcoming our new son into our home. In the few months leading up to Lil Bub’s due date several of our friends had added to their families including three home births! July brought some extreme heat and that with the final weeks and days upon us I found the anticipation almost unbearable. I was sure he would come early.
Lil Bub was due July 20th, 2011 but as the morning and early afternoon of the 19th ticked by I felt I could possibly be pregnant forever! Around 3 or 4 that afternoon, as I headed to my moms to pick up Boo, I noticed my “practice contractions” seemed to have a little more oomph behind them. I got back home, made dinner and decided to spend some time out with him in his pool as I had done several times in the weeks earlier. During this time I continued to have a few strong contractions which I mentioned in passing. By the time we decided to come back inside it was almost 8:00pm. I headed to the shower while my husband bathed Boo and tucked him in bed. As I got out of the shower I announced “So maybe we better time the contractions because I just had three more in the shower!” For the next couple of hours the contractions would go from being 4 min apart to 10 min depending on whether I was up and about or sitting down. About 10:00 I decided to text my midwife and photographer to give them a heads up on what was happening. I thought I’d go to bed and try to get some rest since I figured it’d be a long night and my contractions had been slowing down while resting but I soon realized this was no longer going to be the case. After a few more contractions I heard a pop and felt a trickle of water. Since it wasn’t gushing, I wasnt sure if my water had broken or what had happened. A couple of weeks earlier our midwife had brought over the birth pool and a box of supplies which I remembered had some strips in it that would turn a certain color if you were leaking amniotic fluid. Sure enough my water had broken and it proceeded to gush out with each contraction. By this time I decided to call my midwife to let her know what was going on and since I was still laboring fine on my own told her I’d call when things got more intense.
DH had started getting the pool and room prepared and I got out the TENS unit and had him stick it to my back. I had already dimmed the lights and been rocking back and forth with my birth ball on my hands and knees and as the contractions quickly picked up I used the TENS unit to distract from the pain. At this point things had gotten intense pretty quickly so I called my midwife and photographer back about 11:15 and told them they should probably come right away. My midwife (Suzanne), doula (Nadah) and photographer (Anna) all showed up within a 1/2hr or so. By this time I was sure I had to be getting pretty far along. I was guessing I was at 7 or 8 cm but because doing a cervical check can tend to slow you down and not be necessary I didn’t have our midwife check me. Since I was still talking and comfortable between contractions Suzanne said she thought I would still be laboring for quite awhile and busied herself with preparations in the next room. Nadah, who had also been our doula with our first, arrived within the next few minutes and after chatting for a bit and another contraction I told her I felt I was pretty well dilated and she seemed to think so too with the intensity of my contractions at that point. Nadah began applying some counter pressure for the pain and she and my husband made sure I had water, food or anything else I needed. After only a few more contractions, one almost after the other, she asked me if I was feeling ready to push which I realized at the exact same time. Everything had been moving pretty quickly already but at this point it became a blur of activity, emotion and energy! Suzanne came back in our room and had me go to the bathroom and then hop in the tub. I felt a strong urge to push come on just as I was coming out of the bathroom so I quickly knelt in the tub and began pushing right away. I worked to focus my energy to push my baby out and catch my breath between pushes. I started getting pretty vocal and even a little teary at this point and hoped I wouldn’t wake up Boo who was still sound asleep in the next room. I could feel the baby making progress down the birth canal with each push but it felt like he was still a ways up there. My birth team assured me he wasn’t that far and with the next push or two I could start to feel his head crowning. All the while I had been holding tightly to DH and the birth tub as my midwife and doula applied counter pressure to my back with each push. Before I knew it Lil Bub’s head was out and I rested for just a few seconds before pushing one last time as daddy caught him and lifted him up to me.
At last he was here! It was 12:45 on his due date, not a day early or late 🙂 I was able to rest in the pool for a bit as he adjusted to life outside of the cozy place he had grown and been carried inside me the past 9 months. As we waited for the cord to quit pulsing before clamping it I delivered the placenta within a few minutes. In all this activity I had only had to push about 6 times which only lasted around 15 minutes.
After cuddling Lil Bub for awhile I handed him off to his daddy and was helped to the shower to clean up and then was able to climb in my own bed with my baby as our team cleaned and packed things back up. DH and I spent the next hour all to ourselves holding and checking him over and replaying the amazing blur that had been the last few hours.
During this time I realized Anna had done a wonderful job of blending in to the surroundings and for lack of a better phrase literally had become a fly on the wall of our room. I still don’t know how she took so many pictures but we are so glad she was able to be our photographer for Lil Bub’s birth day. At this point, I think it was about 2am, we decided to wake our other son up so he could meet his baby brother and we could get some pictures of our new family of four. After some time together we tucked him back in bed and Suzanne came back in to weigh, measure and make sure Lil Bub and I were still doing well and give us some last minute instructions and by 3:00 everyone had packed up and gone home.
Having Lil Bub at home was more wonderful than even we had expected. Everyone we knew who had home births had told us they could never imagine wanting to go back to having a hospital birth and now it totally makes sense. We are so thankful that we were able to have an experience like this, for our incredible birth team and for Gods perfect plan and protection throughout my pregnancy and birth in adding this new precious little one to our family. We couldn’t have planned it any better ourselves!
Birth experience comparisons
First birth/hospital:
Nauseous between 6-8 weeks
Craved Blueberry pancakes & doritos
Gained 35lbs
1st son Boo arrived between my LMP date and the ultrasound date.
I can’t remember where I saw this but love how it was stated.
“Do I think having a homebirth compromised the safety of my child? Absolutely not. Was there a possibility something could have gone wrong? Sure. (as it can no matter where you choose to deliver) But I trusted my midwife. She’s attended hundreds of births, dealt with emergencies and transfers, is incredibly knowledgeable, and came prepared with a kit of equipment, including oxygen, pitocin, and antibiotics — everything needed to stabilize me and my baby if something went wrong. Home birth isn’t for everyone. Many women feel safer in a hospital and more secure with that experience. But I’m not ashamed to say that a hospital experience wasn’t for me. I wanted my privacy and the comfort of my home. I wanted my family there and for the only hands to touch my baby to be hands of people who loved him. I wanted the birth of my child to be the sacred rite of passage it is”
For those of you who don’t know, my husband and I, by the grace of God, live debt free. It’s not always easy and this year has definetly thrown some challenges our way but I wouldn’t have it any other way. We started our debt free journey several years ago and have never regretted it. We now facilitate financial classes occasionally and LOVE being able to encourge others in the journey by “throwing out a rope” so to speak.
